‘You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah’ Movie Review: The Sandlers’ Delightful Play On The Jewish Family Experience
Photo from Netflix
From Jeremy Kibler
Don’t call it a nepotistic Sandler family affair — You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah is much more than that, and it’s a delight. Adam Sandler does co-star, but his daughter, Sunny, is front and center (along with supporting roles for his eldest daughter, Sadie, and his wife, Jackie). For once, it’s nice to have as much of a good time watching Sandler and his troupe (this time, his flesh and blood) as they’re having while making a movie.
Based on the 2005 book by Fiona Rosenbloom, this coming-of-age comedy would pair nicely with the perfect Judy Blume adaptation Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret. Like that film, it says a lot about what it feels like when becoming an adult, no matter your age, gender or religion, and how our priorities change. (And there are several “Dear God…” prayer moments.) Sunny Sandler is adorably funny and navigates the emotional highs and lows quite well as seventh grader Stacy Friedman. She and her best friend Lydia Rodriguez Katz (Samantha Lorraine) have always dreamt of having unforgettable bat mitzvahs, complete with musical guests. When each of them gets a taste of popularity and one gets noticed by the other’s crush, staying true to each other’s friendship becomes harder than learning the Torah.
Director Sammy Cohen (who made 2022’s sweet, funny queer romantic-comedy Crush) might have carved out a niche for the stories she wants to tell, striking a careful balance between comedy and drama. Alison Peck’s screenplay gets the way teenagers speak completely right without feeling like an adult is desperately trying to keep up with the times. It also listens to its characters, complementing their good qualities with their flaws. If there are any quibbles, the story trajectory doesn’t hold any major surprises, and there may be three needle drops too many, but for the most part, they’re well-placed and lend a poppy energy.
Both Sunny Sandler and Samantha Lorraine forge a sweet, comfortable chemistry with each other that it would be lie if they weren’t actually friends off-screen. This is Stacy and Lydia’s platonic love story, but the supporting cast gets time to shine as well. Adam Sandler and Idina Menzel are wonderful as Stacy’s parents Danny and Bree. It’s endearing to have Sandler poking fun at his own comfortable wardrobe, too, as he wears basketball shorts everywhere. Casting Menzel is even an amusing choice, twofold: (1) Menzel and Sandler get to play a much healthier married couple than the one in Uncut Gems, and (2) Sandler’s real-life wife Jackie (who usually has a bit part in his movies) is cast in the movie but plays Lydia’s divorced mother. Sadie Sandler is also very funny as Stacy’s older sister Ronnie, who’s always watching horror movies on her phone with her best friend Zaara (Zara Kuttemperoor) without any interruptions from boys. Finally, comedian and SNL player Sarah Sherman is hilariously loose as Rabbi Rebecca, the coolest rabbi at the girls’ Hebrew school.
Light but wise, heartfelt but not cloying, and funny without being overly broad, You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah is another example of cultural specificity in movies making a story even more universal. The target audience may be 13-year-old girls who go to bar, bat, and b’mai mitzvahs, and listen to Olivia Rodrigo, but everyone has been through adolescence and should be able to relate to some portion of one Jewish teen girl’s life.
Rating: 3.5/5
You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah is now available on Netflix.
