From Jeremy Kibler

The R-rated slasher-movie revival happily continues with the suspenseful, gleefully gory, and unabashedly sweet Heart Eyes. Whether it’s seen as a romantic comedy with a body count or a slasher movie with a romantic heart, there’s enough crossover appeal to make this a holiday crowd-pleaser. It celebrates Cupid’s Day while introducing a new masked slasher alongside pickaxe-wielding miner Harry Warden from My Bloody Valentine (either version) and the cherub-masked Jeremy Melton from Valentine. It’s not a heartstopper, but Heart Eyes is a blast most of the time.

The pre-title kill at a winery sets the tone perfectly. As two lovebirds try catching their proposal on camera, this cold open leans into the cheesiness of the holiday and satirizes the artificiality of some influencers with a giant machete. With all of that love on display, the Heart Eyes Killer (HEK) strikes! And he or she will be striking again with Valentine’s Day approaching.

After Boston and Philadelphia (ahhh!), the couples-targeting killer takes their spree to Seattle. In the Emerald City, recently single Ally (Olivia Holt) can’t shake her last relationship with an ex who moved on pretty quickly, until she meets smooth hunk Jay (Mason Gooding). They order their coffee the same way at a cafe, so that has to mean something. Jay also happens to be the new hotshot freelancer hired at Ally’s marketing job, and he might be replacing her. When Jay asks Ally to dinner on Valentine’s Day to talk about the new ad campaign (while keeping it professional, of course!), the would-be couple soon gets targeted by the HEK. They’re not even together, but they could be.

Director Josh Ruben (he of clever indie horror comedies Scare Me and Werewolves Within) and writers Phillip Murphy and Christopher Landon & Michael Kennedy (Freaky) are clearly all fans of the slasher genre and romantic-comedy meet cutes. That knowing but not overly meta affection bleeds on screen, as does a quirky sense of humor. The filmmakers have also given their Heart Eyes Killer an inspired look, as the mystery person sports a mask with glowing, heart-shaped eyes and a heavy-footed speed walk like Jason Voorhees. 

The pacing sometimes lacks a little oomph, particularly with too much downtime for character moments while hiding from a murderer, but the nasty, blood-soaked kills thankfully do not. A chase set-piece from Ally’s apartment to an abandoned but still easily operative merry-go-round is breathlessly thrilling and expertly staged. A stalk-and-slash at a police station is also tense and goretastic, and there’s a memorably go-for-broke kill with a tire iron at a lover’s lane drive-in. This might also be the first time a horror movie makes an environmentally friendly metal straw murder-friendly as well. 

Neither a stranger to getting chased by a masked killer, Olivia Holt (Totally Killer) and Mason Gooding (Scream VI) both make charming, attractive leads, and their chemistry is undeniable. Holt is instantly likable with sly comic timing and enough assertive fight in her, and Gooding is so effortlessly charismatic and game to be the damsel in distress at times. They’re appealing together with a snappy back-and-forth, and we grow to care about Ally and Jay; that gender roles are subverted is a nice extra treat. 

Gigi Zumbado is vivacious and hilariously spiky as Monica, Ally’s sugar daddy-dating co-worker and sounding board. Other supporting characters are more of a mixed bag, starting with the reliably funny Michaela Watkins leaning a little too heavily into strained shtick as Ally and Jay’s boss Crystal. Casting Devon Sawa and Jordana Brewster as weirdo detective partners is a fun choice for us ‘90s horror-heads, even if they seem to step in from a tonally different movie, too. The bit that their names are Hobbs and Shaw (yes, like the Fast & Furious spin-off movie) isn’t as funny as it wants to be. 

Director Ruben and cinematographer Stephen Murphy have a stylish and playful way with the camera not only during the slashes but also with simple visual gags. For instance, when Ally is hanging tight at the police station and suspects the killer might be inside a janitor’s closet, the camera goes static as she goes out of frame; when she comes back, she has a creative weapon to defend herself. 

The climactic whodunit reveal is only partially predictable but something of a letdown compared to what preceded it. Enough good will has been built by then for the film to not fall apart, though, and the overacted monologuing has always been more of a feature than a bug for a slasher film. Even if some of the jokey mugging on the sidelines could’ve been gutted in the final cut, Heart Eyes otherwise delivers a fun, brutal, quick-witted, romantic slasher throwback that’s worth being yours. 

Rating: 3.5/5

Heart Eyes hits theaters on February 7th, 2025.

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